An ideal child :-) i wish, but am a prodigal son.. who is an utter failure

Don’t know what’s gonna happen.. Every father dreams his son should be a support to his family ,his son should be capable, he son should make him proud, his son should keep his family status, his son should touch the zenith of success, every father dreams so, like my father also did.. But am like, has broken all his dreams, and to be short I can say, a prodigal son, lazy to work..,I always wish let I be  a son, like the son in the movie “Varanam Aayiram”.. a capable son..whose helping his father.. living as per his father, obeying  and listening his father.
but am a utter failure used to run as per my own wishes never heard anything from my parents, loosing each games i fought..

I am sad of myself because i couldn’t give my father  a pinch of happiness in life till today, All I had made is the problems, one after another..every parents wishes their child should be a support after their retirement, but am you know, am the vice versa..still i got to depend on them, i feel myself ashamed, and I got to get rid of this, am writing this for myself not for anybody to read ya get hits, I really don’t need that, but I need something ya some one to express my feelings, whats going through me, I know am nothing , I don’t have a degree, I gambled gambled, and end up in no man’s land, But slowly ,recent days am upto something am really happy because ,for the first time in life am doing with cent percent mind,because I got a feeling like I need to achieve but here also am not being able to bring the  desired output, and that’s making me dragging down..

Now it’s a situation like I wish the thing to be done, and I feel that am not being capable of doing the things,I feel like crying loud,…I feel like destroying… everything, but I really don’t wanna loose in this game, I wanna make my parents proud. I know I had done many sins in life, I had made my parents always cry because of my attitude ya  behaviour, I really wanna change, I wanna make them happy, I wanna  make their heads up in the society so that they can ya look my son he is doing good. 🙂 🙂
I

I will I will do that..and I am praying to god to give me some strength to withstand and overcome this challenging situation.

I am drunk, right now. not being able to type correctly…but what I wrote here is whats going through me..

I believe things will change and I am gonna do and make the things and I will bring the happiness back 🙂 Its a promise to myself and its the responsblty of me 🙂

 

 

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